I am now nearly 3 months out of treatment and into remission. My hair is coming back and it looks like I meant to have this cute little haircut. I walk around this world looking quite normal. I wish I felt that way on the inside.
I may look good, but I am full of uncertainty and insecurities. When I was diagnosed I had to learn a new normal. Once I got that under control I was told it was over. Now I have a another new normal. It's a lonely normal. Those who were there during my journey have faded away. I understand they have a life of their own. I sometimes feel that they may talk about me, but rarely with me. You do find out who your friends truly are in this process.
I am not teaching until the new school year, so I went out to find a new adventure for the summer. I am a historical interpreter for a museum in our area. I get to wear a costume and work with new people. However I tire really fast as my energy levels have not improved too quickly. I work with many women who are my moms age and I feel silly needing to sit down or take a break, because they do not know what I have been through. Do I tell them? Why should I tell them.
Before I was diagnosed I had taken real estate classes, planning to teach and sell until my youngest got out of High School then I would sell full time. I never got a chance to take my exams, because of the treatments. This past month I began studying again and passed my State and National exams. I'm nervous about starting another career, but I guess if I can get through Cancer I can accomplish anything.
