Chemo day 1

Tuesday Aug. 23

To say I was anxious is an understatement.  I was going to the infusion center to have poison pumped into my body. 

My port was inserted only a week before and was still bruised making the process a bit painful.  Once the nurse hooked me up, I settled into my recliner for the 7 hour wait.

My husband was out of town, so my Mom got to stay with me.  Not knowing how my body would react to the treatment the nurses and my Mom kept a close eye on me.  We began very slowly with Tylenol and Benedryl (I could have done this at home).  Next was the newest drug they have in the process, Rituxin.  It supposedly seeks out the cancer cells and guides the medication to them.  Whatever.   This I believe was a 2 or 3 hour infusion.  During this time, as the nurse upped my dosages my shoulder began to itch terribly.  I took a look...

It was so odd, the tumor which was raised and solid red, began to separate and form a circle on my shoulder.  My body was going into battle and I would come out Victorious!  

The rest of the drugs were added and I felt just fine.  No sickness.  I left at 3:30 in the afternoon.

For the next 5 days I was on a strong steroid keeping me feeling energized.  I walked 2 miles the day after the treatment.  I went to a High School Football game.  I went to my daughters Cross Country meet, my husband kept me nourished with lots of ice cream and mac and cheese pizza. These were the only things that sounded good to eat.  My mouth was like cotton, dry. I could only taste sweet and salt.  Cold is best!  Then Sunday.  Tired.  No more steroids.  Monday.  Can't get off the couch.  Slept all day.  

I'm learning to listen to my body.  When I am tired, I sleep.  When I am hungry, I eat.  No Guilt, just get healthy again.

Diagnosis

I have Cancer?

I have Cancer!

I have Cancer.

I laid on the table while the Doctor slid a needle into my neck.  Did he say cancer?  I don't know what is going on.  My husband is in the waiting room.  Cancer.  I could see the needle penetrate the lymph node on the ultra sound.  God?  One of the Doctors held my hand and I squeezed so hard. Another needle.  Another Sample.  The Doctor patted me on the arm as he left the room.  One by one they left me to dress.  Tears.  Shaking.

The hand holding Doctor came back.  "Do you understand what he said?"  she asked.  I looked at her with tears, "I think so".  "It's completely treatable.  You're a strong woman, you are brave." she said
A nurse came in with juice.  Sort of like "Hey, you have Cancer...Apple or Cranberry?"

I composed myself and walked out of the office in a blur.  As soon as I saw my husband, I couldn't help myself. TEARS.  I cannot describe the look on his face.  He quickly held me up and rushed me to the car, knowing if I broke down it would be difficult to get me to the parking lot.  We stared at each other.

I asked my Mom to attend the next appointment.  I knew I wouldn't hear everything as my head was spinning.  The Doctor came in and said the needle biopsy was negative.  Thank God!  I can go home.  "I know you have Lymphoma." he said  "I just need to find it."  Huh?  I was in surgery the next day to have the lymph node removed and a biopsy of the skin on my shoulder.  The second Biopsy came back negative!  I went home to rest.

The next day, the Doctor called me directly and said the skin biopsy is not finalized yet but it was lymphoma.  What?  I chose not to believe it.  It's not certain, they are still testing, sending samples to other hospitals.  I'm good.  God's got this!  I don't have cancer.

The lymph node was removed on a Tuesday and the following Thursday I had a port inserted to start Chemo treatments.

What's wrong

What I thought was an injury to my shoulder that never seemed to heal turned into a diagnosis I never thought I would hear.

It was November of 2015, Thanksgiving to be exact, and my Dad gave me an incredible hug.  Pain shot through my shoulder.  Okay, that was weird, but I just let it go.  This was about the time we got a new dog, who was very strong.  This dog would pull at the leash so much I thought maybe he had pulled my shoulder a bit and caused an injury.

About December, I noticed my shoulder was red and hot to the touch.  Could this be an infection?  I was urged to see a doctor.  It was Sunday and I decided to go to the Urgent Care to get answers.  After a couple of hours and many x-rays later the Doctor came back with a diagnosis of Bursitis.  I was told to take ibuprofen and ice, it will go away.

In February, I had a scheduled appointment with my family doctor for my yearly thyroid check.  I mentioned my shoulder to the doctor who sent me for another x-ray.  His diagnosis was a slight tear in the AC joint of my shoulder.  He didn't feel it was necessary to immobilize my shoulder just be careful with it.  He prescribed an antibiotic just in  case of infection.

March came and I was then taking my youngest daughter to the Doctor for her annual check.  I told him my shoulder was still swollen, red and warm.  I was then given prendisone for the swelling.  Spring was a busy time with my preschool activities, H's track, and O's Senior year of school and Graduation approaching.  I still had full range of motion in my shoulder so I just let it go.  The Doctor had told me these take time to heal.

Warm weather approaching meant I was wearing sleeveless tops and the redness and swelling in my shoulder was very noticeable.  I decided to see an Orthopedic Doctor I had been to before for another joint issue.  If there was a tear, he would fix it.  It was July 5th by the time I got in to see the Doctor.  He looked at my x-rays and said he did not see a tear in the joint.  He felt it was a cyst of some kind, and ordered an MRI.

During this time I was taking Real Estate Classes in order to become licensed and begin selling.  I was doing something for myself and was incredibly excited with my new adventure.

After the first MRI I received a call (during class)  to schedule another MRI with contrast dye.  There was a mass on my shoulder and they couldn't tell exactly what it was.  I was back into the MRI machine in less than a week.  The same day I was referred to another Doctor and told to make an appointment.  I googled the Doctor and found he worked at the Cancer Center.