Learning Lessons

We are being challenged everyday all of the time.  Often when the challenge isn't easily overcome we question why.  Why is this happening?  Why me?  After I found out my diagnosis of course I questioned, I wondered, I cried.

When I began my "detour" it was about a month before school started.  I had planned my year and was ready for my new batch of kids.
My Doctor told me, I would not have the energy or immune system to withstand a preschool
classroom.  10 years of developing the school and curriculum and I was told to take time off.  What am I going to do with myself?  I teach, play, sing and take care of kids, that's what I do!
Little did I know, my husband had already spoken with a teacher that may be interested in taking over as a long term substitute.  How dare he!  What is he thinking!  He's giving away my job!

I have always been a stubborn strong women.  I take care of things on my own and ask for very little help.  If I think I can do it, I will.  I take on challenges.  I take care of others.  I show little fear and hardly take time for myself.  If I hurt, I just keep going so no one feels sorry for me.  I keep a busy schedule.   Then......Cancer.

I am trying to be still.  To listen and look for my lessons in this.  God has a plan.  I apologized to my husband for "giving away my job".  He was making things easier for me. He was taking care of everything behind the scenes so I would not have to worry, but focus on my health.  I met with the wonderful lady he spoke too and it was as if God had led her to me and the school. She had just moved to the area and was in need of a job while I had one I could give.  Mrs. B and I talked and we discovered we have the same philosophy when it comes to children. Within 2 days she was hired to be my long term substitute.  Mrs. B is doing a great job with the kids and keeping me updated regularly.

I always feel guilty to have someone "wait" on me or do things for me.  The generosity I have gotten this past month has left me in tears on many occasions.  I was told by a friend, as I cried on her shoulder, "This is what the Body of Christ is all about.  We are here for you."  I have received cards and messages from people I don't see on a regular basis.  Some telling me their story of Cancer and how it has touched their family or even themselves.  I am part of a great church family who is providing meals and support to my family regularly.  I am loved.

I'm learning what is important in my day.  My Husband, Kids and Family are top!  If I am feeling well I am visiting.  I am answering the phone (I truly dislike talking on the phone) and returning calls. I am not concerned with what my house looks like.  I am taking time to listen to my body.  I am praising.  I am loving.

We'll see what lessons I will learn in the next year.  Keeping my eyes, ears and heart open.