I lost it!

After my first Chemo treatment, I literally sat around waiting for side effects.  The list was long and I figured I needed to see what my body did so I would know what to expect the next time around.  I didn't get sick.  My taste buds changed a bit, but eventually went back to normal.  I was waiting for my hair to fall out.  I had talked to people who said they didn't lose their hair, or it was possible I wouldn't.

 I do believe that I had guilt of not having an outward sign that, yes I was sick. I stayed in my house during the school day for fear someone would see me and wonder why I wasn't teaching, I looked just fine. Then it happened...

I woke up 2 weeks after my first treatment to hair on my pillow.  In the sink.  In the shower.  It was going fast.  My hair would drop out of my head and land on my shoulder, it felt like spiders were crawling all over me.

  I had a really hard time "styling" my hair.  I was getting a bit patchy, I actually had a comb over at one point.  It was an emergency to get head coverings. I enjoyed looking for hats and scarves.  I used to wear hats all the time.  Within three days it was time to shave.

I brought the clippers downstairs and asked my husband to do the honors.  I really wanted him to be a part of the process and he was happy to oblige. We went out to the garage and he had a good time making designs on my head.

It was fun, not sorrowful.  It's hair.  My hair does not define me.  My daughter said it was if I was shedding the old me so I can begin anew. Such wise words from an 18 year old.