I'm halfway through. The middle. I have felt great and began counting down the weeks until Chemo was finished. I had calculated Dec. 13th. I had a goal, an end to look forward to. I went to see my Oncologist for a quick check in. After my last treatment I was incredibly nauseous, so he decided to add an additional anti nausea medication to the 2 I already get during treatment. Why not. He looked me in the face and said 3 more treatments, a PET scan, a little radiation and you will be cured. CURED! I was pumped. Nothing was gonna stop me, December 13th here I come!
After my weekly Chiropractor appointment I go the local hospital for blood work. It was Halloween, my birthday, and and I was planning my next chemo treatment for the following day. I was feeling great. Then I got the call. Doris, the nurse in the Oncologist office, called to inform me that my white blood cell count was too low for Chemo. I would have to wait a week. It was like she slapped me in the face, I was stunned. I was feeling great. I was counting down. I had plans! What can I do to increase my white blood cell count? Seriously, what?! Uh, nothing. My body is fighting to keep up.
I felt frustrated. I was planning to skip Thanksgiving in order to be finished with Chemo and feeling great for Christmas. This was going to be a Happy New Year! I began to worry about infection, due to the low counts. I stayed home for the week. If I was going to rebuild those cells I had to stay healthy. I started pounding protein shakes like it was my job. In the meantime the "depression" crept up on me. I needed something to do to occupy my mind. I lost ambition. What was I going to do that I could get done in one day, because who knows how I'll feel tomorrow. Why start then.
My Husband said it was God's way of letting us have the upcoming weekend, with me feeling good, to go to the High School State Cross Country Meet. We would also be able to have Thanksgiving while I am feeling good and would have the energy to visit with everyone.
Those who do not know me, I like to keep busy. I enjoy work. I am not a television or movie watcher. I don't sit still very well. So I get out of bed in the morning without a purpose. I'm not working right now, because I cannot be in the classroom with the kids due to infection nor do I have a consistent energy level. I'm afraid to go places because let's face it people are gross. (yes, I said it. Honestly, people cough and sneeze all over the place plus I have been in public bathrooms before and many don't wash their hands) I would love to do projects around the house, or start a new hobby, but like I said before I'm not working so money isn't available for that. So, I clean the house and do laundry and occasionally bake. It's getting old. I wanted Dec 13th badly. Being "sick" really messes with your head.
Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.
I need to focus on this aspect of my detour. I am in God's hands and only He knows the reasons I am going through this.
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